During a recent archaeological dig through some of my ‘boxes of stuff’ I discovered a cache of tiny sketchpads from my days as a museum assistant. Over a decade ago I worked at a museum and art gallery containing a well-respected collection of art, genuine dinosaur bones and the most diverse team of staff you could ever wish to meet. It was my dream job and for about three years I loved it. However, at times, it could be trying and, as you can probably imagine, brain-achingly boring due to long periods of just standing there, guarding the collection and not doing anything else.
We all did it; not doing anything else. Most of us went through phases of not doing crosswords and smuggling books onto the gallery, not sleeping or chatting, not allowing ourselves the distraction afforded by plugging our ears into sneaky little radios and following the football. To stop my brain from unhinging the top of my head and scampering off with a tiny suitcase I always carried these tiny sketchpads and a pencil that I could slip inconspicuously into the breast pocket of my blazer. I wrote endless versions of a troublesome novel that to this day keeps poking me with a stick and asking to be completed. I sketched the works of art and the molluscs in cases and I designed pithy tee-shirt slogans that were going to make me a millionaire one day. And I invented the pastime of DRAWING WITHOUT LOOKING, which amused me greatly.
I obviously couldn’t close my eyes because I had to make sure no-one was nicking the Monets. Anyway, I thought you might like to see some of these recently discovered masterpieces as I haven’t drawn any cartoons today. So here you go.
Many of the assistants were frustrated artists of some sort. Often we drew the artwork or the artists themselves, which was frequently the same thing. They were always all drawing each other, when they weren’t doing other things to each other…
We were encouraged to guard the safety and security of the galleries and to ensure the visitors had an enjoyable time there, whilst also respecting the collection. Our supervisors were generous with their nuggety pearls of wisdom.
Have a lovely weekend. Museum assistants don’t get weekends.
Great stuff! Some real belly laffs there 😀
I loved the “Woman who forgot to put knickers on” It reminded me of Picasso’s “A Woman Weeping” but with a bit more of a draught whistling around the extremities. *chortle*
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Fanks, Whelkie. Laughter powers my engine. I see the knickers theme is big on your blog today also. How curious… *starts deedle-deeing Twilight Zone music*
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The Whitechapel Whelk is akin to one convoluted saucy seaside postcard, Jifster. But with more spelling mistakes and appalling syntax 😉
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Hahahaha, the one with the sore feet is so real. I can walk miles over rough Welsh hillsides but a couple of hours in s gallery or museum kills my legs!
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I often requested some sort of mattressy flooring but it fell on deaf ears, Rosie.
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‘Museum Feet’ is a real thing!
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It certainly is 😀
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Hilarious!! I never thought to build a cooking fire when I got hungry in the gallery. Food for thought!
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It’s when they set up a tent and start fishing in Monet’s pond that the real trouble kicks off.
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These are awesome! Drawing without looking is a more hardcore version of drawing with looking, clearly. The art of standing on your feet all day took me back to when I worked in security, we too tried to sneak in tiny earphones to prevent our brains from decaying.
What was the most inappropriate thing you saw a visitor do though?
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Thank you! I think the guy who rested his wineglass on the Rodin was probably number one on the list of people who took my breath away. Though I heard stories from other assistants of far worse behaviour, including people mistaking fake landscape scenes for the genuine outdoors and relieving themselves in a ‘wooded glade’…
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Oh wow… Wooded glade, eh.
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The pearls of wisdom are magnificent.
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Thanks; the perils of having too much time to think about life, the universe and everything… 🙂
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I truly can’t imagine the boredom nor the pains from standing all day monitoring artworks. Those drawings are hilarious – author. If you could draw such without looking, then you’re good.
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Thank you. I should probably do my regular cartoons with my eyes closed too! People seem to prefer these! 😀
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Definitely not a bad idea. Lol!
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Great drawing! It also reminds me of my office job. When it was time to clock off, everyome rushed to go home..lol..
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Thank you. Clock-watching – the great office ritual! 😀
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Awesome! Love it!
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Thanks!
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Haha this is comedy gold. I always love going to museums. Never imagined it could be boring. but then again you ended up with some nice memories.
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It wasn’t always boring, I was involved with some amazing exhibitions and award-winning artists. I got to do things I would probably never get a chance to do in any other job. The trouble with boredom is that it seems to expand to fill the whole of your view until the horizon has disappeared.
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Delightfully written post and I adore the drawings, especially the cooking fire and large bag. Bravo!
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Thank you so much, you’re very kind. 😀
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Love your drawings.
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Thank you.
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Oh my word. This made my night. The floor hurts is my favorite. As someone who is on their feet all day….they come home swollen too
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My feet still haven’t fully recovered from the abuse. I feel your pain.
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Nice,
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These are great-thanks for sharing! Hopefully these little gems can be incorporated into that book you need to finish. 😀
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I like
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Thank you for giving us a wonderful glimpse of the ‘other side’ of the museum, which we would never have the privilege to do so. Your drawings are marvy, by the way. 😉
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You are very kind. I feel very lucky to have worked there. It could be an amazing experience at certain times.
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I think that is the bag I use when I go to the movies. Love it! I will appreciate museum staff more now.
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You must eat a LOT of popcorn! 😀
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Sounds like days I spend at the coffee shop when I can’t be bothered to write. I get far too much enjoyment from these doodles; I can totally relate!
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I’m glad you like them. They certainly made me giggle when I rediscovered them.
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very nice
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Thanks.
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In this there is something
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Amazing blog
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Oh, thank you, that’s very sweet of you. 🙂
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Your welcome 💓
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I love it! What a great collection of miniature extemporary art. Those could easily be starts for more elaborate drawings.
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Thank you. That’s true, they could but I don’t think they’d be as funny if they were more detailed. What do you think?
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These were fun. Thanks for sharing!
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You’re welcome.
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Hmm drawing while your eyes is closed is impressive I tried doing it but it ended up as unidentified drawing that is not recognizable 😂😂
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Don’t give up! I had some like that. I selected only the best for publication. 😉
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This made me want to work in a museum and i aren’t sure that was the intended purpose of this
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I just thought people might want to try drawing without looking, for a laugh, but by all means apply to your local museum for a job. 😀
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Wow drawing without looking. I can’t imagine doing that and you did it.
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Hey reading this was fun😁
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
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Amazing drawings and the way you have conveyed your messages through them. I think I’ll also give it a try.(to draw without looking )
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Thank you. Please do; the results can be hilarious.
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So good!!!
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Thank you!
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Some of these are hilarious 😂. Thanks for sharing! “Try to look alert” lmao
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Thank you. A colleague once said to me “Be alert – Britain needs more lerts…” 😀
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lol good one
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Really enjoyed that! I worked both day and night shift at a hotel for a year and did the same with a collection of haikus. Inspiring.
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Thank you. Oh, how lovely! Is it possible to read them online or anywhere else?
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These were hilarious haha, The Queen looks great!
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Thanks. She was a few years younger when I drew her. She did actually visit the museum around this time. I can confirm I was NOT looking at her when I drew it, though.
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This is awesome! I love how cheeky they are.
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Thank you!
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This was great! I used to work in a museum in the same role for about three years and you describe it perfectly! It was both wonderful and a bit mind numbing! Great pictures, and very funny!
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Thank you. You understand completely!
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This made me giggle!
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