What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?
Talking. I love old-fashioned expressions like ‘Frock’ and ‘Fancy goods’ and ‘Carrying on’. As in, “He’s been carrying on with that sort from number 37, you know. Bought her a new frock last week and various other fancy goods.'” Due to the prevalence of smartphones and I-pads I think there’s far too much grunting goes on in place of conversation these days. Language is our most amazing skill and we need to give it some love.
What’s your favorite genre of book or movie?
I like a nice tangledy psychological drama with plenty to make me think. Skeletons in the closet, black humour and a jolly good twist at the end. Not much to ask is it? With a movie, I like to sit there working out the plot while my partner gets closer and closer to the edge of the sofa, eyes and mouth growing wider and the dog getting balder and flatter under the stressed out hand stroking him ever more firmly into the cushions as the climax approaches… Yes, I said ‘climax’.
How often do you people watch?
Not as often as I blinking should! I’m in my own little world, me. I’m always dead proud of myself if I notice an event or incident taking place within my vicinity. “Ooh, humans!” I say, vaguely aware of movement and flashing blue lights somewhere to my left. Meanwhile, my brain’s gone off on a tangent about early man developing the concept of edgy cave art.
What have you only recently formed an opinion about?
Humanity. It’s not looking good.