Whisky and Haggis

What ho!  I been on me holidays ain’t I!  I’m still drifting on that holiday vibe so I’m feeling a bit horizontal – which is my excuse for not having done you a jolly cartoon to giggle at. However, you’re in luck as I spent some of my holiday time playing with my Inktense blocks and I produced a small handful of laughable… shall we call them ‘experiments’? I warn you now that I’m rubbish with a paintbrush so don’t go getting your hopes up. Anyway, just to tide you over until I get my derriere in gear, here, for your delectation, are some bits of my beloved Scotland.

Don’t laugh, unless you’re laughing WITH me…

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There was a lovely beach with a zipwire next to it.  I had to, didn’t I?

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Our dogs had a poo on a different island every day, it sort of became the daily challenge.

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Gigha is a beautiful tiny island off the west coast of Scotland and it was my personal highlight of the holiday.  Due to the generous number of sheep in Scotland the dogs spent a lot of time on the lead so they were most delighted to be set free on a stunning beach where they could stretch their lurcher legs.

In our quest to get dog poop on a different island each day we ventured onto one that I, having been brought up on Famous Five novels, got it into my head that we weren’t meant to be on unless we were rich and/or famous and staying at the posh hotel/spa that owned it.  There was a road bridge, so we just drove on, and there were these grand signs everywhere and I immediately felt naughty as we parked on the crunchy gravel and went for a walk past the golf course and down to the jetty where the loaded folks moored their yachts.

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No gruff gamekeepers came out to shoot us and we didn’t end up in Scaramanga’s underground lair so it was all fine.  However, we did feel guilty enough that one of us went in and booked an eyelash tint so that we could justify our presence on the secret millionaire’s playground island.

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I did TRY to look like I was someone famous as I walked along, just in case we were challenged.

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Bumpy bits.

Okay, that’s the whisky finished.  Normal service will be resumed once I get the sand out of my pants.

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It’s just questions, questions, questions with Cee.

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What do you do when you’re not working? If you are retired, what do you that is not part of your regular daytime routine?

I draw cartoons and weave things and make cards and jewellery.  And write this stuff.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

I’d draw cartoons and weave things and make cards and jewellery and write this stuff in a nicer house on a beach in Scotland.  I’d rescue some battery hens and ex-racing greyhounds and a donkey with three legs.

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What makes you laugh the most?

Laughter is itself the funniest thing.  Absurdity in general.  The more surreal the better. My political manifesto is to ban money and replace it with comedy.

What is your biggest pet peeve with modern technology?

The way technology is meant to make life simpler but it’s actually the opposite.  Eg – you think ‘I’ll just pop the old interweb on and look up the opening hours of that restaurant I fancy’.  You turn it on and hey presto, updates need doing, chug chug chug, Facebook-Twitter-Instagram-Pinterest; the whole effort steals approximately 4 hours of your life, especially once you’ve got all inter-distracta-web and started clicking on ‘interesting’ links.  Three days later you’re married to a cat from Thailand and writing a blog about conspiracy theories whilst wearing a hat made from nettles. Or is that just me?

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It’s just me, innit…

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Wow 500!

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Woohoo! Wow! and other exclamations of pleasure that require a fist punch into the air above one’s head.  I now have 500 followers on this blog!  Let it be noted that I am most pleased! I am so happy I think we should welease Bwian.

WELEASE BWIAN!!!

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH THIS CRAP! You’re the best, no matter what anyone else says. I loves you. X

I’m off to celebrate with some whisky and some haggis… Don’t worry, I’ve left you some dinner in the fridge.

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Dreamy questions this week from Cee.

What did I come in here for

What’s your strongest sense?

Sight.  But only when I actively look at something.  I can be looking for my favourite mug and it’s right in front of me.  I think my colour vision is particularly intense, hence my violent response to orange.

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Which of Snow White’s 7 dwarfs describes you best? (Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey)

Dopey? Though I did just sneeze…

If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what age would that be?

I enjoyed being 27, so I’ll go with that.

List of Jobs You Think You Might Enjoy: Even if you aren’t thinking about a career change, it can be fun to think of other jobs you might enjoy.  [Remember:  This is SYW where even your dreams can become reality.]

I would love to be an art teacher/therapist working with children.

I had a brief period as a holistic therapist and that was wonderful.

Yoga teacher

Dog trainer

Psychiatrist

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Namaste!

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