The Tale of Sorrow – Part 4
















Who’s going to clean up all this blood and vomit?  Will the peacocks develop a taste for the Doktor’s legs? Will Digby start shortening his screams to ‘OMG OMG OMG’?  All these burning questions plus just WHAT is making the princess so bloody grumpy anyway? – may possibly be touched upon in the next enthralling episode.


The Tale of Sorrow – Part 3









Will the Doktor be able to solve the problem for the young princess? Will the King and Queen even listen to him? If so, what else can the birds have for dinner? Is Mad-Axe Pete single? (Steady, girls!) And where does he buy those fantastic bespoke axes? (Whelkie, this is your cue to make a massive chopper joke. You’re welcome.)

All these burning questions and less may (or may not) be answered on the next thrilling instalment, pending on imminent nuclear destruction.

A is for Appropriate Adult

I’ve already told you how my zany other half comes out with some corkers, haven’t I.

The other day we were discussing the phonetic alphabet (I know, life’s a constant riot at Chez JIF) and I noticed the letter ‘R’ was sneaking into the word.  I halted, mid dog-walk, and turned to face the light of my life.  “Are you calling it the Frenetic Alphabet, my little apple dumpling strudel?”

Much hilarity then ensued as we spent the rest of the walk coming up with the words that would be appropriate.  The silence of the beautiful autumn woods reverberated with the following exclamations and general swearing until I got home and made little drawings ‘cos I thought you might like them.


A is for…

frenetic alphabet.A

And B is for…

frenetic alphabet.B

C is for…

frenetic alphabet.C

You were a bit worried then, weren’t you.

D is for…

frenetic alphabet.D

And E is for…

frenetic alphabet.E

That one is pretty much how my face looks each day when i wake up and realise THIS is the reality and that was the dream.

frenetic alphabet.F

frenetic alphabet.G

frenetic alphabet.H

frenetic alphabet.I

frenetic alphabet.J

frenetic alphabet.K

frenetic alphabet.L

frenetic alphabet.M

frenetic alphabet.N.jpg

frenetic alphabet.O

frenetic alphabet.P.jpg

frenetic alphabet.Q.jpg

frenetic alphabet.R.jpg

frenetic alphabet.T.jpg

frenetic alphabet.U

frenetic alphabet.V

frenetic alphabet.W

frenetic alphabet.X

frenetic alphabet.Y

frenetic alphabet.Z.jpg

I would love to hear your alternative versions of any of the above as this was all a bit spur of the moment and entailed no real thought.  Please feel free to make new and improved suggestions in the comments section below.

This is available as a wall chart if you want to teach your kids the alphabet.

frenetic alphabet.1.jpg


Where are you going?

The C-Word

People keep mentioning it. There’s a certain type of music playing in the shops and twinkly lights are starting to appear in windows. I am fighting against the tide but…

Okay, these are the cards I will be sending out this year –

Xmas cards 2017.1.jpgXmas cards 2017.2.jpgXmas cards 2017.3.jpg

Are you happy now? Are you?

Just don’t mention the C-Word!

In the words of one of my dearest friends – “Bah!”


Jifosophy 14

Dreamy questions this week from Cee.

What did I come in here for

What’s your strongest sense?

Sight.  But only when I actively look at something.  I can be looking for my favourite mug and it’s right in front of me.  I think my colour vision is particularly intense, hence my violent response to orange.


Which of Snow White’s 7 dwarfs describes you best? (Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey)

Dopey? Though I did just sneeze…

If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what age would that be?

I enjoyed being 27, so I’ll go with that.

List of Jobs You Think You Might Enjoy: Even if you aren’t thinking about a career change, it can be fun to think of other jobs you might enjoy.  [Remember:  This is SYW where even your dreams can become reality.]

I would love to be an art teacher/therapist working with children.

I had a brief period as a holistic therapist and that was wonderful.

Yoga teacher

Dog trainer


Yoga dog.jpg