Jifosophy 15

It’s just questions, questions, questions with Cee.

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What do you do when you’re not working? If you are retired, what do you that is not part of your regular daytime routine?

I draw cartoons and weave things and make cards and jewellery.  And write this stuff.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

I’d draw cartoons and weave things and make cards and jewellery and write this stuff in a nicer house on a beach in Scotland.  I’d rescue some battery hens and ex-racing greyhounds and a donkey with three legs.

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What makes you laugh the most?

Laughter is itself the funniest thing.  Absurdity in general.  The more surreal the better. My political manifesto is to ban money and replace it with comedy.

What is your biggest pet peeve with modern technology?

The way technology is meant to make life simpler but it’s actually the opposite.  Eg – you think ‘I’ll just pop the old interweb on and look up the opening hours of that restaurant I fancy’.  You turn it on and hey presto, updates need doing, chug chug chug, Facebook-Twitter-Instagram-Pinterest; the whole effort steals approximately 4 hours of your life, especially once you’ve got all inter-distracta-web and started clicking on ‘interesting’ links.  Three days later you’re married to a cat from Thailand and writing a blog about conspiracy theories whilst wearing a hat made from nettles. Or is that just me?

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It’s just me, innit…

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Jifosophy 14

Dreamy questions this week from Cee.

What did I come in here for

What’s your strongest sense?

Sight.  But only when I actively look at something.  I can be looking for my favourite mug and it’s right in front of me.  I think my colour vision is particularly intense, hence my violent response to orange.

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Which of Snow White’s 7 dwarfs describes you best? (Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey)

Dopey? Though I did just sneeze…

If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what age would that be?

I enjoyed being 27, so I’ll go with that.

List of Jobs You Think You Might Enjoy: Even if you aren’t thinking about a career change, it can be fun to think of other jobs you might enjoy.  [Remember:  This is SYW where even your dreams can become reality.]

I would love to be an art teacher/therapist working with children.

I had a brief period as a holistic therapist and that was wonderful.

Yoga teacher

Dog trainer

Psychiatrist

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Namaste!

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Jifosophy 13

I’m thinking Cee has a hankering for a holiday this week…

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What is the most famous landmark or building you have ever seen?

Big Ben, Stonehenge and Ben Nevis.  Phew, that was one exhausting day.

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Do you like long vacation or lots of mini-vacations?

Both, please.

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What is your favorite National or State Park?

The Lake District but only because the Scottish Highlands and Islands are not one.

What is your fantasy vacation?

I’d like to sail in some sort of lovely little yacht (with a small crew because, crikey, I can’t drive this thing!) all around the west coast of Scotland, stopping off at various islands and deserted beaches to indulge in a bit of beachcombing, creation of sand sculptures and photography.

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Bon voyage!

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Jifosophy 12

Question time again, thanks Cee.

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What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? 

There are lots of things but I daren’t say them out loud because I know they will never happen if I do.

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How often do you get a haircut?

Whenever it starts to graze the ceiling and get caught up in the cobwebs.  About 6 weekly intervals, probably.

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In regards to puzzle what’s your choice: jigsaw, crossword, word search or numeric puzzles?

Depending on how bored I am, I’ll have a go at most of them but I prefer crosswords.

(Fancy a puzzle?  See below…)

How many cities have you lived? You can share the number of physical residences and/or the number of cities.

I start to decay if I live in a city.  I only did it once, briefly, when I was young and freshly independent.  I found myself standing on tiptoe to look for greenery over the rooftops and had to run away to the countryside again.  I am a provincial soul – I need to live on the edges of so-called civilisation, where I can see the mountains and the trees.

 

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FOOTNOTE:

As my drawings done without looking seem to be so popular this week (Don’t Look and Don’t Look Again) I thought I would attempt some new ones of the above cartoons.  They are added here for your delectation. Or not…

I’ve given them sneaky titles.  Anyone want to have a guess at the references?

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‘Here hair here.’

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‘She’s filled with secrets.’

Jifosophy 11

Thanks to Cee for this week’s probing questions.

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How many languages do you you speak?

Only this one.  Though I can ask you to fill out a form and give basic directions in Russian. Spakoina Nocha.

What are you reading, watching, listening to, eating?

The Tao of Pooh, a couple of biographies and The Seven Basic Plots.  Also loads of blogs, obviously.

Follow The Money, The Leftovers, YouTube tutorials on things I’ll probably never do.

Elbow, The Stranglers, Tame Impala, Nirvana and lots of Bananarama (for some reason) (the latter NOT my choice!)  Also Max Richter and Johan Johannsson. Birdsong and catwail.

Porridge.

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What was the last photo you took with your phone?

I actually filmed a swollen stream after the rain.  Dog walking distractions.  It was quite meditative with the dripping ferns.  The last photo was of creeping buttercup.

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What is your favourite time of day?

Dawn is undoubtedly the most magical time of day but I rarely see it as I am such a terrible night owl.  Sunset can be a treat for the eyes but I’m really firing on all cylinders at midnight.  I do like a nice walk on a moonlit night, there’s something extra special about a moonshadow.

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Jifosophy 10

Time for some questions from Cee.

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When you’re alone at home, do you wear shoes, socks, slippers, or go barefoot?

I live in flip flops as long as it is warm enough.  And sometimes when it is not.

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What was your favorite food when you were a child?

My great auntie Lil’s homemade sausage rolls.  I’ve never tasted a sausage roll to rival them and just thinking of them makes my mouth water – I remember the taste so well… Urgh, sorry, dribbling on the keyboard now.

Sausage rolls.jpg (True story) (ish)

Are you a listener or talker?

What was that, sorry?  Heh heh, a bit of both but mainly a daydreamer…

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Favorite thing to (pick one):  Photograph?  Write? Or Cook?

I like writing fiction.

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Jifosophy 9

Time for this week’s questions from Cee.

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Would you rather live where it is always hot or always cold?

Cold because I can wrap up warm in layers but if it is hot I cannot remove my skin. Hang on – who let Hannibal Lecter in here..?

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Do you prefer long hair or short hair for yourself? 

Short.  I have weird curly hair that grows upwards and disobeys the rules of physics.  I keep it in check by making sure it doesn’t get above itself, or me.

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What is your favorite month of the year?

It was always June because of the long days but now I get hayfever in June so I’m swaying more towards May, though that is pretty sneezy too.

What is the easiest way for you to learn something new?  By reading, by seeing and doing, in a classroom?

These days I like to watch online videos to learn but before the internet was invented I always found books a great source of knowledge and read everything I could get my hands on.  I love learning and I’ll have a go at most things.

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Jifosophy 7

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Thanks Cee for this week’s probing questions.

When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?

It depends what I’m writing.  If it’s something short like a note/letter/list I’ll use a pen.  If it’s a piece of creative writing I know it will probably get lengthy and messy and my pen will run out midway so I’ll use a pencil.  I am dyslexic and as a child all my words were joined together without any gaps so I was not allowed to write with a pen at school until I was almost 11.  I was taken aside by a kindly teacher who switched on a light in my brain and showed me how to get those letters whipped into shape.  Then my parents gave me a beautiful fountain pen with a wide nib that really encouraged me to write nicely.  When I was at college my lesson notes were so long that my classmates often joked that I was writing another novel.  I love words and sentences.  Paragraphs are good too.

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Would you rather be an amazing dancer or an amazing singer?

I am already both, HA HA HA!  Dancer: to satisfy my inner exhibitionist.

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If you were on a debate team, what subject would you relish debating?

Politics.  When I get together with certain people we spend an impassioned hour putting the world to right.  I hate injustice and intolerance.

What are you a “natural” at doing?

I am a natural mimic and can pick up accents very quickly, often unintentionally.  I was once having a conversation at work with someone speaking in a strong Birmingham accent and I had to apologise because I had started replying in the same accent and I couldn’t stop myself doing it.

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Jifosophy 6

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Thanks Cee for the weekly excuse for a chinwag.

Have you ever participated in a distance walking, swimming, running, or biking event? Tell your story.

No.  I’ve been up Ben Nevis twice but that was just for laffs.

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Name one thing not many people know about you.

I’m fascinated by psychiatry.

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What is your favorite flower? 

I do like a sunflower and once grew a 12 footer on my allotment. Poppies, bluebells, yellow flag iris, wood anenome. Anything growing wild.  Not in a vase, for then they are just dead.

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Things I want to have in my home (paintings, hot tubs, book cases, big screen tv etc).

Decent books and good art. A colourful, warm and welcoming atmosphere. Music and laughter.

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Jifosophy 5

 

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Get well soon Cee and thanks for this week’s questions from Ribbonrx.com

What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?

Talking.  I love old-fashioned expressions like ‘Frock’ and ‘Fancy goods’ and ‘Carrying on’. As in, “He’s been carrying on with that sort from number 37, you know.  Bought her a new frock last week and various other fancy goods.'” Due to the prevalence of smartphones and I-pads I think there’s far too much grunting goes on in place of conversation these days.  Language is our most amazing skill and we need to give it some love.

What’s your favorite genre of book or movie?

I like a nice tangledy psychological drama with plenty to make me think. Skeletons in the closet, black humour and a jolly good twist at the end.  Not much to ask is it?  With a movie, I like to sit there working out the plot while my partner gets closer and closer to the edge of the sofa, eyes and mouth growing wider and the dog getting balder and flatter under the stressed out hand stroking him ever more firmly into the cushions as the climax approaches…  Yes, I said ‘climax’.

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How often do you people watch?

Not as often as I blinking should!  I’m in my own little world, me.  I’m always dead proud of myself if I notice an event or incident taking place within my vicinity.  “Ooh, humans!” I say, vaguely aware of movement and flashing blue lights somewhere to my left.  Meanwhile, my brain’s gone off on a tangent about early man developing the concept of edgy cave art.

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What have you only recently formed an opinion about?

Humanity.  It’s not looking good.

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Jifosophy 2

Cavewomen

Hungry

 

Time to share my world again…

Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

I rarely use an elevator, or lift, as we call them here in the UK.  I have a deep down fear that I will get trapped in there and have to start eating parts of myself to survive, even if I’ve had a massive bowl of porridge for breakfast.  I prefer to climb the stairs, unless it’s a silly amount of flights.  If I do have to go to the top of a tall building I spend the entire journey wishing the lift good health and mentally planning how I will jump in the air at the precise moment it hits the ground at a million miles an hour after plummeting violently towards the centre of the earth.  I don’t really bother with the buttons once I’ve instructed the lift not to kill me and just drop me at the salient floor, thanks.

Lift

Do you plan out things usually or do you do them more spontaneous (for example if you are visiting a big city you don’t know?)

‘Plan’ is a four-letter word.  A regular bone of contention with my ostensibly more organised partner, I PLAN NOTHING.  Because when I do, it all goes pear-shaped, tits up and a-glay (you know, like the best laid ones of mice and men…)  Especially if I TELL anyone my plans.  I can hear the words coming out of my mouth sometimes and I’ll be thinking ‘That won’t happen then.’

‘Got anything nice planned for the weekend?’ my friend will ask.

‘Oh, we might go to the beach and perhaps see a film at the cinema…’ And in my head I see that flying out the window and waving goodbye.  Cue the weekend and I’m sitting in a nuclear bunker trying to bite a tin of beans open whilst my partner glowers at me over a stub of candle and two dogs and a cat draw straws for which one is getting first dibs on my liver.

So, even if I did plan anything I wouldn’t be telling YOU.

No plans

Describe yourself in at least four uplifting words.

Alive, Awake, Maniacal and Helium.

If you had a choice which would be your preference salt water beaches, fresh water lakes, ocean cruise, hot tub, ski resort or desert? 

A salt water beach, please.  Beach-combing is my natural state.  I can pick up a whole ton of crap on a beach and pretend it’s art until the cows come home.  In fact I once made a set of windchimes from the ribcage of some sort of farm animal I found on a beach.  Stop screaming.

Beach-combing

Cee’s Share Your World

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Jifosophy

cavemen

discuss

Little Monster Girl suggested I join in with Cee’s Share Your World so I thought I would have a bash and see how it goes.  Each week there are four questions –

Ever ran out of gas in your vehicle? 

My legs are my vehicle and yes.

mush

Which are better: black or green olives?

Broccoli.

If you were a great explorer, what would you explore?

The human psyche.

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Quotes List: At least three of your favorite quotes?

I have a number of these on my desktop for permanent motivation.  I struggled to whittle it down to five.

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” – Omar Khayyam

“Laughter is an instant vacation.”- Milton Berle

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” – Anne Frank

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – E.E. Cummings

“A person without a sense of humour is like a wagon with no springs. It is jolted by every pebble on the road.” – Henry Ward Beecher

laughter

Jifosophy – just shut up and laugh.

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