Wanting something to quench your thirst, what would you drink?
I like a nice cuppa tea in the morning, I like a nice cuppa tea with my tea… and so forth. I dedicate this cartoon to my friend, Ella, who also likes a nice cuppa tea.
Complete this sentence: Never In My Life Have I….
… painted the Queen’s toenails for her.
If you could be given any gift what would it be?
I’d like a bit of land so I can open a sanctuary for neglected three-legged donkeys. Why do people always laugh when I say this? It’s not funny.
What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep, toss and turn, or get up and try to do something productive?
I get up and if there are no sheep in my bedroom, which there usually aren’t as they tend to be put off from visiting by the two lurchers, I do whatever is next on my list of things I haven’t got time to do. Usually making, drawing or writing something, though sometimes I double-check the house for sheep.
When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?
It depends what I’m writing. If it’s something short like a note/letter/list I’ll use a pen. If it’s a piece of creative writing I know it will probably get lengthy and messy and my pen will run out midway so I’ll use a pencil. I am dyslexic and as a child all my words were joined together without any gaps so I was not allowed to write with a pen at school until I was almost 11. I was taken aside by a kindly teacher who switched on a light in my brain and showed me how to get those letters whipped into shape. Then my parents gave me a beautiful fountain pen with a wide nib that really encouraged me to write nicely. When I was at college my lesson notes were so long that my classmates often joked that I was writing another novel. I love words and sentences. Paragraphs are good too.
Would you rather be an amazing dancer or an amazing singer?
I am already both, HA HA HA! Dancer: to satisfy my inner exhibitionist.
If you were on a debate team, what subject would you relish debating?
Politics. When I get together with certain people we spend an impassioned hour putting the world to right. I hate injustice and intolerance.
What are you a “natural” at doing?
I am a natural mimic and can pick up accents very quickly, often unintentionally. I was once having a conversation at work with someone speaking in a strong Birmingham accent and I had to apologise because I had started replying in the same accent and I couldn’t stop myself doing it.
What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?
Talking. I love old-fashioned expressions like ‘Frock’ and ‘Fancy goods’ and ‘Carrying on’. As in, “He’s been carrying on with that sort from number 37, you know. Bought her a new frock last week and various other fancy goods.'” Due to the prevalence of smartphones and I-pads I think there’s far too much grunting goes on in place of conversation these days. Language is our most amazing skill and we need to give it some love.
What’s your favorite genre of book or movie?
I like a nice tangledy psychological drama with plenty to make me think. Skeletons in the closet, black humour and a jolly good twist at the end. Not much to ask is it? With a movie, I like to sit there working out the plot while my partner gets closer and closer to the edge of the sofa, eyes and mouth growing wider and the dog getting balder and flatter under the stressed out hand stroking him ever more firmly into the cushions as the climax approaches… Yes, I said ‘climax’.
How often do you people watch?
Not as often as I blinking should! I’m in my own little world, me. I’m always dead proud of myself if I notice an event or incident taking place within my vicinity. “Ooh, humans!” I say, vaguely aware of movement and flashing blue lights somewhere to my left. Meanwhile, my brain’s gone off on a tangent about early man developing the concept of edgy cave art.
What have you only recently formed an opinion about?